I went to the mall the other day. I try to avoid going to resist temptation. It is a gorgeous day out and knew the next couple of days were suppose to be stormy. (freezing rain, blowing snow)
My intention was to buy a new handbag. I have been looking for months already and I am quite withdrawn. I have an obsession that I have wrangled in. The deal is one handbag a season and if I find more then one I have to sell/give away one, which is hard however keeps only 4 handbags in the closet at any given time (5 really, as one is a fancy gown handbag and the same deal applies). I now haven't had a new handbag since September. On the other hand, I feel good because the only handbags I found were really expensive and they didn't have a wow factor for me. Instead of just buying one anyways to fulfill the dire, I resisted the urge to spend money I don't have on something I don't really want. Yeah me!!
In a strange twist of fate, every store I went into had great stuff! I usually just try things on to suppress the urge to buy however today wasn't like that. It didn't help that most of the items I was looking at were on sale and fit perfect. I feel really good about the amount of quality items I brought home for the price I paid. They always say on 'What not to Wear' that you should shop in outfits and invest in key pieces. Since I moved I had let go of a lot of clothes that were still in good shape however didn't do anything for me. I want to have a closet of clothes that at any time I can pick an outfit and feel put together.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Depression, Indecision & Chocolate
All my life, these are the 3 things that have ailed me. Life is a cycle. Bad habits are a cycle. Breaking the cycle of the latter to create a new cycle in the first.
My depression causes me to be indecisive and a sure fix is chocolate. Of course this is a temporary fix. I think I could deal more with the depression if it didn't increase my indecision. It causes me to do a lot of self doubting in my decisions so therefor I don't chose to make any real decisions during this time. I like change and become bored easily so you can see how this doesn't work out for me.
Here is a regular day for me right now. I make coffee for the bread winner and he leaves. I check: all recently posted jobs on several sites, all my favorite ebay sellers, my favorite blogs(no these are not all listed on the sidebar). While doing that I watch: Regis & Kelly, Ellen, and the View. I do various other tasks throughout the day and then watch Without a Trace at 2. Pathetic huh? I think the only thing that has kept me sane is I get dressed by 10 and don't wear pjs all day.
The good news is I had a shock today while reading one of the job posts. I have been debating going back to school instead of just looking for another administrative/accounting position. Today I was reading quite a lovely post for an admin assistant for a great company and you know what my response was... I turned up my nose. I actually audibly gasped when I realized my response. It reminds me of that silly game they played in one episode of Friends. Phoebe was helping Joey decide on a route for his road trip and she asked him a number of random questions to bring his mind away from the topic and then threw in a related question. It is always surprising that your subconscious has already made decisions you are not aware of.
Now just comes the fear that presents itself when making a plunge forward to change. I love the fear, yet hate the fear. I think that is what attracts me to change.
Now praying there is room in the class starting in April, they accept me into the program and that the government wants to give me some money and not expect too much back in return.
My depression causes me to be indecisive and a sure fix is chocolate. Of course this is a temporary fix. I think I could deal more with the depression if it didn't increase my indecision. It causes me to do a lot of self doubting in my decisions so therefor I don't chose to make any real decisions during this time. I like change and become bored easily so you can see how this doesn't work out for me.
Here is a regular day for me right now. I make coffee for the bread winner and he leaves. I check: all recently posted jobs on several sites, all my favorite ebay sellers, my favorite blogs(no these are not all listed on the sidebar). While doing that I watch: Regis & Kelly, Ellen, and the View. I do various other tasks throughout the day and then watch Without a Trace at 2. Pathetic huh? I think the only thing that has kept me sane is I get dressed by 10 and don't wear pjs all day.
The good news is I had a shock today while reading one of the job posts. I have been debating going back to school instead of just looking for another administrative/accounting position. Today I was reading quite a lovely post for an admin assistant for a great company and you know what my response was... I turned up my nose. I actually audibly gasped when I realized my response. It reminds me of that silly game they played in one episode of Friends. Phoebe was helping Joey decide on a route for his road trip and she asked him a number of random questions to bring his mind away from the topic and then threw in a related question. It is always surprising that your subconscious has already made decisions you are not aware of.
Now just comes the fear that presents itself when making a plunge forward to change. I love the fear, yet hate the fear. I think that is what attracts me to change.
Now praying there is room in the class starting in April, they accept me into the program and that the government wants to give me some money and not expect too much back in return.
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